Quick Tips for Emotion Regulation

For many, emotion regulation is one of the main barriers that keeps people from achieving full transformation. As long as a person is a slave to their emotion and all the whims of the day, they will never experience all the freedom that a spirit-led life in Christ can bring. Think about it for a moment. Vented rage, lost calm, and hurtful words have probably caused more harm and destruction than any war in history ever could have. This is why, as Christians, we should regularly strive to process our emotion in a positive way. Let's look at a few topics that will help us understand emotion regulation:

The Only Thing You Can Control is Your Response
The first thing to understand about regulating emotion is that you cannot control the events happening around you. If you could, you would have already taken care of it. The only thing you can 100% control is how you respond to each situation. Would you like to handle each situation that comes your way with intent, grace, and purpose or would you rather lose self control, potentially opening yourself up to further loss of control?

Practice Self Control
Everyone has a default way they handle specific situations. Understanding your triggers, how you respond, and past outcomes will help you begin to understand the importance of self control. Understanding these triggers and having a calculated plan of response in advance is a great benchmark in which you can gauge how to respond in each situation you encounter. The goal of every encounter is to act in a logical and purposeful manner that results in the ideal outcome you are looking for every time. 

Pause Before You Respond
This may go without saying, but taking a moment to pause and think about how you will respond or solve your problem will, more often than not, assist you in overcoming whatever obstacle you're facing. A little patience and focusing on the first step to solving your issue means you are already on track.

Practice Mindfulness Meditation
I personally love mindful meditation, because at it's core, it's really teaching you about managing distractions in your thoughts. It allows you to accept whatever is happening in your environment, quickly process it, and move on. I think this is so important for emotional regulation, because with enough practice, you will realize that simple stressors are simply a matter of acknowledging their presence and then moving on to achieve peace in your mind.

I practice mindfulness meditation by relaxing my body, closing my eyes, and focusing on my communion with God, acknowledging and releasing distraction as I meditate. Having a subject matter you'd like to contemplate planned ahead of time is helpful.

Make A Plan as Soon as You Can
When something, without warning, interrupts your emotional groove, many times focusing on a plan can quickly dispel negative emotion. Asking yourself what the problem is, how it can be solved, and how you will solve it is key. If you need to write it down, do that. For instance, say you are having a car issue and have no money to get it fixed. First, acknowledge that you can't change that the problem exists. Then, knowing that the problem is out of your control, you can first pray about it. Ask God for resolution and assistance. Then make a list in your mind of what you have the power to do. For instance, you can make a mechanic appointment, call a friend who fixes vehicles, buy a different vehicle, or borrow a car from a family member. Of course, after that, it's a matter of understanding which option best works for you, but the sooner you have a plan, the better you will feel so you can continue focusing on your life.

Emotion Response is Learned
One thing I've realized is how often our emotion responses seem to be determined by how we think we should react to specific situations and are often learned from others. For instance, a boy grows up watching his mother or father throw things whenever they get upset by another person. The boy may then grow up thinking that when he gets upset, it is acceptable to throw things around when he loses his temper.

Stay in Scripture
Having a regular routine of scripture reading goes a long way in understanding emotion regulation and its importance. The Word has been transforming lives for thousands of years and inspires us to understand our actions and take corrective measures through action and repentance.

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. 21 Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you. - James 1:19-20