Rumination: Escaping the Negativity Trap
2/10/2021 - Author: Jason Cook - Searchlight Organization
You’ve made some mistakes. We all do of course, but all of a sudden a memory from your past creeps in and washes over you like ice water. You feel uneasy, maybe some regret, sadness, or even anger. An hour later, your mood now resembles a storm cloud and you’re still thinking about it. Has this ever happened to you? This is what is called rumination, but what is it exactly and how do you stop doing it?
Rumination is defined as “a focusing of one's attention on negative or distressing thoughts or feelings that when excessive or prolonged may lead to or exacerbate an episode of depression” (Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary). Rumination can occur when you start thinking about past job performance, a loss of an important relationship, or simply acts of necessity when you had little to no choice. The science is clear about the hazards of negative thinking so what causes it?
Understand Your Triggers
When you begin to ruminate, think back about why you actually started in the first place. Is it in response to the presence of a specific person, cruising on a social media website, or some other source? These are called triggers. If you can pinpoint what started the process, you then have the power to mitigate or avoid the root cause in the first place, but what do you do when the process has already started?
Is there a problem to solve?
First, let’s ask ourselves, what is our mind trying to tell us? Sometimes we are simply looking for a solution to a perceived threat. Before you spend hours mulling over this negativity, ask yourself the following questions to determine if there is anything worth your time here and if a solution could be possible:
What am I actually looking for?
Are you looking to just explain to someone how you feel, to release guilt, or make amends? We can all relate to those feelings. Sometimes just being able to explain yourself is key to moving on. If you are looking to express rage, find revenge, or illustrate to someone every minute detail about how your life has been destroyed, it is unfortunately not time to discuss your issue with that person, because of the harm this could cause yourself. If you are wanting to contact the person, be sure to be very clear in your mind why you are contacting them and question whether it will truly serve your purpose before discussing the issue with them. If you cannot answer what it is you are actually wanting to achieve, perhaps it isn’t time yet to waste your time thinking over the negative situation you experienced.
Are there any actions I could reasonably take right now to amend the situation at this point and make things right?
If thinking about the issue brings a lot of negative feelings and, after a short period of time, you determine there is no actual way to reasonably alleviate the issue, there is no reason to continue pondering on it since there is nothing further you can do and it might be best to move on to the next step. Perhaps the person has already apologized to you or the situation has been resolved. Likewise, if there is an action you could take, but you are not comfortable taking that action, sometimes the only action left to take is that of forgiving and forgetting.
How do I forgive others and myself?
In short, forgiveness is agreeing to yourself to no longer hold another person accountable, retaliate, or discuss that issue with others. This is done for your own sake so you can make the conscious choice to pour your energy into more productive things, say like...self improvement. This is such an important idea that I want to repeat it in a different way. For every moment you spend in unforgiveness, hatred, anger, or rumination, you are robbing yourself of time, effort, and emotional well-being.
Once you choose forgiveness, whenever you think about the person or issue, you can rest safe in the idea that you’ve already forgiven and moved on and will no longer allow it to have the power of wasting your time and life source. The same goes for yourself. Sometimes you have to agree to no longer hold yourself accountable, because you’ve done everything you can. For more information on achieving forgiveness, please see my article titled “Embracing Forgiveness: Letting Go of Toxic Relationships.”
What have I learned?
It is not only past opportunities and successes that define you, but also previous struggles. Have you learned something valuable from an event that is causing you to ruminate? Perhaps you are more cautious in certain circumstances, wiser, kinder, or even more loving. If you can say you are better for what you have gone through, though it may have been unpleasant, perhaps it may bring you some peace understanding that you received a gift, albeit not an easy one to receive, by any means.
Every once in a while I hear someone say, “I would never want anyone to go through what I went through.” Think about that. Because someone has endured struggles, they know and understand how to help someone else either cope or even prevent something that could cause another person pain or struggle. How many laws have been changed because someone used their own experience to change legislation that could help others or even save lives? Perhaps we could say we should celebrate what struggle has done for us, rather than what it has done to us. In this light, what other action do you have control over to help you move past negative thinking? Let’s start with my favorite.
Go on a Worship Walk
Get outside and enjoy God’s creation! Going outdoors for a walk is single handedly, the quickest and most effective way to boost mood. I say this from personal experience, but there are numerous studies that illustrate how quickly going for a walk and exercise can improve your mood, thus washing away negativity. Pair this with some inspiring music on the headphones and you’ll be feeling better in no time. If you have time, go a bit out of your way and take a hike in nature with someone meaningful. This works wonders.
Be Aware of your Mission
Do you really have the time to give in to negative thinking? As mentioned above, you only have a finite amount of it each day for self-improvement and with such a short supply of it, why would you want to give up any of it focusing on things you cannot change. I highly suggest picking a life’s mission if you haven’t. This could be volunteering, creating something meaningful, or establishing what your life’s work will be. We have but one opportunity in this life to leave our legacy. When negativity creeps in, remind yourself there are bigger things in your life that are far more worthy of the time you spend than self loathing. Don’t let it rob you of what is most precious.
Work on your Goals
Having a mission will require you to do...well...things. This is the perfect opportunity to mention goal work. The fact is, the more time you spend working on goals, the less time you’ll have to think about negative things. By committing to even a small amount of action every day, you’ll be doing yourself a great service, because you will be consistently reminding yourself of your mission and the progress you are regularly achieving. Start by thinking of a few things you’d like to accomplish in life. Then, when you have narrowed your list to a few items you’d like to work on, simply create a few goals that will help you get there.
Practice Gratitude
There are unbelievable benefits to practicing gratitude, some of which are reducing anxiety, depression, and negativity. By practicing gratitude, you can actually rewire the brain to naturally focus on positivity. In a study done by Joshua Brown, Ph.D. and Joel Wong, Ph.D. of Indiana University, they found that in a study of 300 university students, all of whom were seeking mental health services due to clinically low levels of mental health related to anxiety and depression, those those who wrote gratitude letters once each week had significantly improved mental health after 4 weeks as well as 12 weeks subsequently AFTER the writing exercise had ended. This suggests that gratitude has a lasting impact on mental health overall.
In their findings, the authors explain: “gratitude letter writing produces better mental health by shifting one’s attention away from toxic emotions, such as resentment and envy. When you write about how grateful you are to others and how much other people have blessed your life, it might become considerably harder for you to ruminate on your negative experiences.” If you would like to read more about Brown and Wong’s findings, you can find their article here. If you would like to know more about writing gratitude letters, here is an article I found that could help: https://www.canr.msu.edu/news/gratitude_part_2_writing_a_gratitude_letter
Meditate
There are more ways to meditate than I think you could possibly count. In a sense, meditation is the exact opposite of rumination. In its most basic form, it could be taking a moment to just clear the mind of distracting thought or focusing on a specific, but positive idea or experience. Mindful meditation works by allowing yourself to relax, focus on your breathing, and acknowledging, then releasing, any thought that comes into your mind without dwelling on any particular thought for long.
“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” - Philippians 4:8
Biblical scripture also suggests meditating on the words of scripture. In this case, you would find a verse, read it, memorize it if you can, then repeat it to yourself over and over again, each time trying to gain more and more insight into what the meaning of the verse truly is.
One of my favorite types of meditation is meditating on the Holy Spirit. To do this, simply close your eyes, direct your focus toward God and pray simple prayers of adoration, gratitude, and love toward Him. Through this, you may feel relaxation, a sense of well-being, and a complete sense of wholeness come over you as you feel that energy being returned to you. It is impossible for negativity to exist when you are filled with love and gratitude!
Choose Your Destiny
Did you know that 97% of millionaires believe they control their own destiny according to the Global Wealth Report 2020 by Credit Suisse? (https://www.credit-suisse.com/about-us/en/reports-research/global-wealth-report.html) If you believed this same thing, what impact would that have on your life? Would you continue to focus on how others are holding you back and negative thought processes or would you simply accept your situation and make positive change? You’ve been gifted with many blessings so please do yourself justice, embrace your free choice and start focusing on changing your future into what you believe glorifies the Lord. If you can be clear about what you truly want, so will be the outcome. Get excited for your future!
Remember, you are where you are for a reason. You are exactly where you are supposed to be. Make the best of it! Your past has prepared you for what you must encounter today no matter how big or small it may seem. The faster you accept where you are, the sooner you will be able to make the change needed in order to move on to even bigger and better things if that is what you desire. With meditation, a mission, goals, and being absolutely kind to yourself, you will be well on your way to chasing negativity out of your life. Accept your circumstance, make positive change, and release yourself from rumination, replacing it with gratitude instead. God bless you beyond measure my dear friends. Have a beautiful and joy-filled day.
Author: Jason L. Cook
Searchlight Organization - www.searchlightorganization.com
Copyright Date: 2/10/2021
Rumination is defined as “a focusing of one's attention on negative or distressing thoughts or feelings that when excessive or prolonged may lead to or exacerbate an episode of depression” (Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary). Rumination can occur when you start thinking about past job performance, a loss of an important relationship, or simply acts of necessity when you had little to no choice. The science is clear about the hazards of negative thinking so what causes it?
Understand Your Triggers
When you begin to ruminate, think back about why you actually started in the first place. Is it in response to the presence of a specific person, cruising on a social media website, or some other source? These are called triggers. If you can pinpoint what started the process, you then have the power to mitigate or avoid the root cause in the first place, but what do you do when the process has already started?
Is there a problem to solve?
First, let’s ask ourselves, what is our mind trying to tell us? Sometimes we are simply looking for a solution to a perceived threat. Before you spend hours mulling over this negativity, ask yourself the following questions to determine if there is anything worth your time here and if a solution could be possible:
What am I actually looking for?
Are you looking to just explain to someone how you feel, to release guilt, or make amends? We can all relate to those feelings. Sometimes just being able to explain yourself is key to moving on. If you are looking to express rage, find revenge, or illustrate to someone every minute detail about how your life has been destroyed, it is unfortunately not time to discuss your issue with that person, because of the harm this could cause yourself. If you are wanting to contact the person, be sure to be very clear in your mind why you are contacting them and question whether it will truly serve your purpose before discussing the issue with them. If you cannot answer what it is you are actually wanting to achieve, perhaps it isn’t time yet to waste your time thinking over the negative situation you experienced.
Are there any actions I could reasonably take right now to amend the situation at this point and make things right?
If thinking about the issue brings a lot of negative feelings and, after a short period of time, you determine there is no actual way to reasonably alleviate the issue, there is no reason to continue pondering on it since there is nothing further you can do and it might be best to move on to the next step. Perhaps the person has already apologized to you or the situation has been resolved. Likewise, if there is an action you could take, but you are not comfortable taking that action, sometimes the only action left to take is that of forgiving and forgetting.
How do I forgive others and myself?
In short, forgiveness is agreeing to yourself to no longer hold another person accountable, retaliate, or discuss that issue with others. This is done for your own sake so you can make the conscious choice to pour your energy into more productive things, say like...self improvement. This is such an important idea that I want to repeat it in a different way. For every moment you spend in unforgiveness, hatred, anger, or rumination, you are robbing yourself of time, effort, and emotional well-being.
Once you choose forgiveness, whenever you think about the person or issue, you can rest safe in the idea that you’ve already forgiven and moved on and will no longer allow it to have the power of wasting your time and life source. The same goes for yourself. Sometimes you have to agree to no longer hold yourself accountable, because you’ve done everything you can. For more information on achieving forgiveness, please see my article titled “Embracing Forgiveness: Letting Go of Toxic Relationships.”
What have I learned?
It is not only past opportunities and successes that define you, but also previous struggles. Have you learned something valuable from an event that is causing you to ruminate? Perhaps you are more cautious in certain circumstances, wiser, kinder, or even more loving. If you can say you are better for what you have gone through, though it may have been unpleasant, perhaps it may bring you some peace understanding that you received a gift, albeit not an easy one to receive, by any means.
Every once in a while I hear someone say, “I would never want anyone to go through what I went through.” Think about that. Because someone has endured struggles, they know and understand how to help someone else either cope or even prevent something that could cause another person pain or struggle. How many laws have been changed because someone used their own experience to change legislation that could help others or even save lives? Perhaps we could say we should celebrate what struggle has done for us, rather than what it has done to us. In this light, what other action do you have control over to help you move past negative thinking? Let’s start with my favorite.
Go on a Worship Walk
Get outside and enjoy God’s creation! Going outdoors for a walk is single handedly, the quickest and most effective way to boost mood. I say this from personal experience, but there are numerous studies that illustrate how quickly going for a walk and exercise can improve your mood, thus washing away negativity. Pair this with some inspiring music on the headphones and you’ll be feeling better in no time. If you have time, go a bit out of your way and take a hike in nature with someone meaningful. This works wonders.
Be Aware of your Mission
Do you really have the time to give in to negative thinking? As mentioned above, you only have a finite amount of it each day for self-improvement and with such a short supply of it, why would you want to give up any of it focusing on things you cannot change. I highly suggest picking a life’s mission if you haven’t. This could be volunteering, creating something meaningful, or establishing what your life’s work will be. We have but one opportunity in this life to leave our legacy. When negativity creeps in, remind yourself there are bigger things in your life that are far more worthy of the time you spend than self loathing. Don’t let it rob you of what is most precious.
Work on your Goals
Having a mission will require you to do...well...things. This is the perfect opportunity to mention goal work. The fact is, the more time you spend working on goals, the less time you’ll have to think about negative things. By committing to even a small amount of action every day, you’ll be doing yourself a great service, because you will be consistently reminding yourself of your mission and the progress you are regularly achieving. Start by thinking of a few things you’d like to accomplish in life. Then, when you have narrowed your list to a few items you’d like to work on, simply create a few goals that will help you get there.
Practice Gratitude
There are unbelievable benefits to practicing gratitude, some of which are reducing anxiety, depression, and negativity. By practicing gratitude, you can actually rewire the brain to naturally focus on positivity. In a study done by Joshua Brown, Ph.D. and Joel Wong, Ph.D. of Indiana University, they found that in a study of 300 university students, all of whom were seeking mental health services due to clinically low levels of mental health related to anxiety and depression, those those who wrote gratitude letters once each week had significantly improved mental health after 4 weeks as well as 12 weeks subsequently AFTER the writing exercise had ended. This suggests that gratitude has a lasting impact on mental health overall.
In their findings, the authors explain: “gratitude letter writing produces better mental health by shifting one’s attention away from toxic emotions, such as resentment and envy. When you write about how grateful you are to others and how much other people have blessed your life, it might become considerably harder for you to ruminate on your negative experiences.” If you would like to read more about Brown and Wong’s findings, you can find their article here. If you would like to know more about writing gratitude letters, here is an article I found that could help: https://www.canr.msu.edu/news/gratitude_part_2_writing_a_gratitude_letter
Meditate
There are more ways to meditate than I think you could possibly count. In a sense, meditation is the exact opposite of rumination. In its most basic form, it could be taking a moment to just clear the mind of distracting thought or focusing on a specific, but positive idea or experience. Mindful meditation works by allowing yourself to relax, focus on your breathing, and acknowledging, then releasing, any thought that comes into your mind without dwelling on any particular thought for long.
“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” - Philippians 4:8
Biblical scripture also suggests meditating on the words of scripture. In this case, you would find a verse, read it, memorize it if you can, then repeat it to yourself over and over again, each time trying to gain more and more insight into what the meaning of the verse truly is.
One of my favorite types of meditation is meditating on the Holy Spirit. To do this, simply close your eyes, direct your focus toward God and pray simple prayers of adoration, gratitude, and love toward Him. Through this, you may feel relaxation, a sense of well-being, and a complete sense of wholeness come over you as you feel that energy being returned to you. It is impossible for negativity to exist when you are filled with love and gratitude!
Choose Your Destiny
Did you know that 97% of millionaires believe they control their own destiny according to the Global Wealth Report 2020 by Credit Suisse? (https://www.credit-suisse.com/about-us/en/reports-research/global-wealth-report.html) If you believed this same thing, what impact would that have on your life? Would you continue to focus on how others are holding you back and negative thought processes or would you simply accept your situation and make positive change? You’ve been gifted with many blessings so please do yourself justice, embrace your free choice and start focusing on changing your future into what you believe glorifies the Lord. If you can be clear about what you truly want, so will be the outcome. Get excited for your future!
Remember, you are where you are for a reason. You are exactly where you are supposed to be. Make the best of it! Your past has prepared you for what you must encounter today no matter how big or small it may seem. The faster you accept where you are, the sooner you will be able to make the change needed in order to move on to even bigger and better things if that is what you desire. With meditation, a mission, goals, and being absolutely kind to yourself, you will be well on your way to chasing negativity out of your life. Accept your circumstance, make positive change, and release yourself from rumination, replacing it with gratitude instead. God bless you beyond measure my dear friends. Have a beautiful and joy-filled day.
Author: Jason L. Cook
Searchlight Organization - www.searchlightorganization.com
Copyright Date: 2/10/2021